Right in the Feels
by ChaosGamer
Summary: Ever felt agony without pain? Sadness without loneliness? Terror without fear? Anxiety without butterflies in your stomach? Everything becomes an oxymoron when you are mourning.
1. Chapter 1

The glow from the Android reflected off of Leo's face; the shining numerical digits of time on the screen.

10:03 AM.

Shutting his phone off, Leo proceeded to idly drum his fingers on the table in front of him, taking in the sight of the cafe. People with laptops, couples with drinks, waiters moving around.

It was just a simple meeting, really. A nice place to stretch after the week. The fact that they were dating was undeniable, but Leo always felt some sort of flutter mixed with anxiety before she came.

...And, for some reason, she was late. It was unusual, to the say the least; she had punctuality of a Japanese. Or Swiss.

Leo tried not to think too much about it. Additional ponder led to paranoia. And fear.

He was being ridiculous, he decided. Just because she was 3 minutes late did not mean that something bad had happened. Or that she was mad at him. Heck, his phone could possibly be 3 minutes early... Even though he perfectly knew that his phone was accurate, as he made it always in sync with International Atomic Time. He took out his phone once more.

10:08.

...Perhaps he was being stood up? Leo tried to think of times where he could have incurred her wrath. He couldn't find none; she was perfectly happy, as far as she knew. Leo at last decided to send a text.

_Where are you?_

There. Perhaps she will respond.

...But what if she didn't? What if, she had possibly overslept and her phone was on silent? Or perhaps she could be ignoring him.

5 minutes after he sent that text, there was still no response. Now really concerned, he sent another:

_Are you alright?_

5 minutes after, his phone rang. Leo eagerly picked up his phone but quickly found out that it was actually from Jason.

Surprised, he received the call.

"Hello?" He spoke into the phone.

"Hey... Leo." Jason responded.

There was something in the tone, something Leo couldn't really pinpoint on, but still registered in his brain.

"What up man?" Leo responded. "Hows things?"

"...Leo," Jason responded. "This... might be hard to explain. I really don't know what to say."

"What is it?" Leo sipped on his mocha.

"Its... Reyna." Jason carefully uttered this phrase. Leo froze.

"Reyna?" Leo subconsciously glanced outside the window of the cafe. "What about her?"

"I'd hate to be the bearer of this news but..."

"Spit it out, man."

"...There was an accident."

"Accident?" Leo's heartbeat quickened. "What accident?"

"She got hit by... a car while walking on pedestrian road. She is in critical condition. I thought you already knew."

"Jason," Leo gripped hard on his phone. "If this is a prank, or something, I swear..."

"Leo, you fully well know that I don't pull pranks. She is in a hospital. She needs you, now."

The phone clicked; Jason was gone. Leo jumped from his table; throwing random bills upon the table he raced out from the cafe.

He took out his phone again. It really didn't make sense, to be honest, but he had to do this. He sent another text to Reyna.

_Just received call from Jason... Please be ok_

He hurriedly called over a taxi. Hopping in and shouting an address, his hands sent another text:

_Please, just respond; tell me this is a nightmare..._

5 minutes after, he sent another:

_Please don't die_

oOo

Black suits. Everywhere.

The whole courtyard was filled with people mourning; it was a private funeral. Close relatives and families gathered around the coffin, throwing dirt into the hole. Leo stood still, silent. He stood still through the whole procession.

It was indescribable, really. He felt as though crying his eyes out would be the right thing to do as her ex-boyfriend, but he wondered around, dazed. Not really registering conversation he had with others. It was really a blur.

To say that he felt hollow inside would not be the closest definition of what he actually felt. He felt pain – pain without agony. Lover of wealth separated from his treasures would not be able to feel this kind of yearning. There was something heavy, compressing his chest, but he did not feel the squeeze nor was he discomforted by the feeling. It was the opening to his mind growing smaller.

It was as though his heart was clouded by the dark feelings. Something jokes could not take care of.

During the taxi back home, he sent another text:

_Funerals are depressing._

oOo

Months after her death time sped away; everywhere he looked he was reminded of Reyna. Memories of Reyna. The smell, the touch. Her personality. He couldn't get enough. It was as though something inside of his ripped out at the same time as Reyna's death. They could have gone further more into their relationship. Now everything was over.

Christmas was supposed to be the jolly time of the year; not for Leo. It all became slightly more meaningless.

He sent another text:

_Christmas is not the same without you._

oOo

It had been several months since that day. The date itself reminded him of Reyna; it was her birthday. The day others knew not to bother him, the day where he silently locked himself within his room. He really wished to go outside, but the reminder was too much. However the compression within his chest seemed to lessen each day, to say the least. Time really healed some wounds.

He sent another text:

_Happy Birthday. I wish you were here._

oOo

It had been a year since that day. He stayed within the same cafe, almost in nostalgia. She said she would be there. And, incredibly, he found himself believing that. He constantly shifted his eyes to the door, almost hoping, that this was some sort of long held joke, he wouldn't even be mad. He would absolutely love it if it were all just a big joke. His entire life was a joke. Who was he kidding?

He sent another text:

_I'm still waiting._

oOo

He really needed to stop drinking. But helpful suggestions as these from his brain was blocked out by the alcohol within his system. He felt free, free from the sadness when he was smashed, although his friends made sure he didn't drink too much.

Everything now was a huge nonsensical humor. He felt like laughing, talking up a storm; everything was so carefree. No more of that burden upon his shoulders. No more compressed feeling in his mind, no more dark clouds in his heart, no more of agony upon reminders of her, no more sudden bouts of terror and loneliness. No more pain, no more insomnia. He finally felt free.

But he always had her in the center of his mind. A permanent place within his heart.

His hands dancing around, he drunkenly sent another text:

_So smashde right now prety ironc, the mam that killed u was probubly drunk to. Too sad to care. Miss you too mcuh. It hard without u_.

oOo

Ugh, he really should stop binge drinking. The head-splitting headache that followed always made him regret.. a little bit.

It was almost a routine – he picked up his phone once again to send a new text... only to find out that he had received a text.

A text from Reyna.

Leo stared, blinking at the screen. Was the alcohol still in his system? Was he finally going insane and seeing things? No he was not; it was really, a text from her. How was it possible?

Trembling with excitement, fear, and disbelief, he opened the text.

_The number you dialed has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service. Please resend text message using a valid 10-digit number._


	2. Chapter 2

A large, revolving door was situated at the front of the hospital. The rest was a white wall, decorated only by the large marquee.

Mutely exiting the cab, Leo walked silently inside.

The disinfectant scent of typical hospitals intimidated him slightly. The surroundings showed diverse groups of people, walking around, checking appointments, resting in chairs, taking care of their children. Leo headed straight to the receptionist desk.

"May I help you?"

"Hey, um, I'm here for a patient."

"Mm hmm. What is her name?"

"Reyna. Reyna Ramirez-Arellano."

"Arellano..." The receptionist muttered as she typed in her name. "Yes... yes. Room 112."

Her tone was monotonous, indifferent of the mood of the visitors. He supposed one would gradually become that way, being used to their own job and all that.

His imagination went wild as he approached her room. How much was she hurt? Was the wound fatal? Did she hit it head on, or was she scraped against the car?

Stretching out his hands he pushed open the door, stepping inside. Jason, who was inside, started at the noise.

"Ah. Leo." He stood up from his chair. He cleared his throat slightly, as to say something, but no words came out. Perhaps he found none that was adequate.

Leo closely examined Reyna with care. She was still intensely beautiful, with her untouched face and her glossy black hair, her little nose and her puckered lips. Peaceful expression on her face as she slumbered on.

"How bad is it?" Leo asked. He was surprised with his own hoarse tone.

"Well..." Jason drew in his breath. "She is in coma right now. Her internal damage seems to be serious. Her heart is still beating, but she might need life support soon."

The news hit him hard; Leo collapsed into the nearest sofa. Guilt overtook him as his mind went into an overdrive.

"This is my fault." Leo whispered. "I set up the date."

Drops of tears began to stream down from the side of his eyes.

"Hey now," Jason sat next to Leo, putting his arms around him. "Don't think like that. No one could have seen this coming. The only person responsible is the driver."

Jason's sentence sparked a forgotten question within Leo's head. "Do we know who did this?" he asked in a low tone.

Jason shifted uncomfortably within his seat, as if afraid to answer. "No, not really. He made a quick escape after hitting her. There might be recordings from stored nearby."

Leo stared straight ahead, at the lone figure lying upon the hospital bed. He felt powerless in such situations. Machines he could fix quickly, organic beings were another story. Leo desperately wished that there was something, anything he could do to help her. But his options were greatly limited.

Leo was no stranger to emotional pain, nor death. His mother died while he was young, his babysitter turned out to be a psychopath, and he found no place within social circles. Possibly the only good thing that happened within his life was meeting Reyna.

Leo and Jason sat within that sofa for some time, consoling each other's pain, sharing each other's agony, dividing up the burden on themselves. Sometimes that's what we all needed.

The door opened to reveal a person with a white coat and a clipboard.

"Hello Mr. Grace. And You must be Mr. Valdez. I am Dr. Caleb." The doctor introduced himself.

Leo stood up. "Dr. Caleb. What is your opinion on Reyna's survival?"

Doctor grimaced. "Pretty low, I'm afraid." He answered.


End file.
